New Year...

What can I say about the year of 2010...it has been a nightmare of some kind in many ways. It also has been wonderful in other ways....I can honestly say that it has been a challenging year. It did not begin well...my year wasn't filled with tragedy but it had it's share of frustrations, times of anger, and sadness. It was also filled with love, excitement and discovery! My puzzle of my life was complete finally after 32 years on this earth. The part of me I never thought would ever be fully put together for the rest of my life here on earth. But, with that final piece of the puzzle put back in place has also come feelings of being torn and conflict. I did not think that it would be like this. I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I am getting pushed and pulled in so many directions. I do not want to hurt anyone...I am so tired of thinking about others before myself. I think it would be easier for me if I didn't live here with my parents...I could feel more open and free about things. But that is not the case and I do not know when that will ever be the case. Well...enough of that! It is a new year, and that means it is time for new beginnings! I have so many things I want to accomplish this year!

1. I want to lose weight...I will exercise, I am not going to say I am going to give up drinking Pepsi cause I don't think I can do that, well maybe it is not that I don't think I can it is more that I don't want to. But I will cut back.

2. I am going to pass math 122 and 142 this year in school

3. I am going to get myself ready to go through the temple

4. I am going to work on my time management

5. I am going to work on my patience with my kids

6. I am going to take better care of myself

7. I am going to let go of the hate and anger I feel for the father of my kids.

8. Let go of the things that I cannot change

9. Get myself closer to my Heavenly Father

10. Keep myself close to my family...both birth and eternal

11. Work on my communication skills.

12. Get all A's and B's in school this year!!!

I know that seems like a lot of goals...but I think and know that all of these things are obtainable and are realistic for me. I have to work hard and stay focused. There is one more...I don't know how realistic this one is or how obtainable it is but I would really like to find a man...a good one. One who will love my kids and treat them like their own. One who will want to adopt them, and give them his last name. I would love to be able to have the opportunity to get married...I want to give my little girl that opportunity to have a father. She wants one so bad...but that is for another entry...it is late and I am tired right now.

Goodnight and God bless...