Marriage...

I read this and wanted to share it with you all!  There is a good point to this story! Married or not… you should read this. Marriage. “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Golden Girls!

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant.

And if you through a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.

Love love love the golden girls!!!  The song speaks to me in so many ways!  The Golden Girls have gotten me through a lot of sad times...whenever I am sad I can watch them and feel a little better!  They are my therapy...I will always love them!  I will watch them till the day I die!  

Planking...

So back in August Michael came home from band camp and was all hyped up about planking!  I was baffled at what planking was!  I had heard of walk the plank...like from pirate movies...but nothing else!  So I asked him to show me what he was talking about!  He showed me alright!  Here's a look at what he meant!

I cannot believe what body strength he has to do this!  It is crazy!  But this is what planking looks like!  Just thought you all should know!  :)

Gilbert, AZ Temple!

I am so excited about the building of the Gilbert, Arizona Temple!  I have been apart of an open house and dedication of the San Diego temple back in '92, but we did not live close enough to see the progress day by day!  It is so exciting to see it being built!  I cannot wait to see it finished!  I am so excited to be apart of this and be able to walk through the temple!

This is the first picture I took of it:

And here's the second:

More progress!

More!!!!!

This one below was just taken today on my way home from school!

 I will definitely be posting more pictures as the temple makes progress!  I am excited about this more than anyone knows!

Boogers!

I thought I should write about this not only because it is funny...but also an important event.  My son who was born with kidney reflux has had 2 previous surgeries.  He had to get another one done to widen his urethra because it was too small.

Well, as most of you know before one goes in for surgery you have to fast.  While we were driving to Phoenix Children's Hospital I turned around to see how he was doing.  He was picking his nose and eating his boogers!!!!  Eeeewwww!!!!!  I told him stop eating your boogers!  He looked me straight in the eye and as serious as he could be said, "Nope!  I am hungry!  You didn't let me eat, and I am hungry so I am going to eat my boogers!"  Leave it to my son to find the loop hole catch 22!  LOL!

While we were driving he kept asking if Grandpa would take him to Taco Bell after the surgery!  Grandpa thought he would forget about Taco Bell after his surgery.  My baby boy was so brave through the whole thing!  He was calm and wasn't bouncing off the walls...which is a change.

Jessie while he waited for the nurse to come get him...

Thank goodness for grandpa!  He sure does love him!!!!

Over all the surgery went well...I didn't have to wait too long...I think the hardest part about your child having to have surgery is when the nurse comes to take him away.  Even though you are pretty confident in the doctors and their ability...sometimes in your heart you know the possibilities and can't help but have the thought cross your mind...this could be the last time I see my baby!  :(  But that hasn't happened and it probably never will!  

When he woke up and I was allowed to see him he was a little grouchy (what a shocker!) he was asked if he wanted a popsicle and he said no...only a chocolate one!  And then he said he would take the cherry one.  And asked for another one, and asked for chocolate again, they said they didn't have any chocolate popsicles but they did have chocolate milk.  He told them he wanted both.  LOL!  So they gave it to him!  

Can we say SPOILED brat!!!!!  But, he DID NOT forget about Taco Bell!!!  He said, "Grandpa can we go to Taco Bell after we leave!?"  I laughed so hard because grandpa was so sure that he would forget after being put to sleep!  I told him there was no way he was forgetting about a chance to go to Taco Bell his favorite place to eat!  So of course we took him!

During the procedure they numbed him from the waist down, so he couldn't walk.  He kept wanting to.  I told him not to try and walk because he would fall down and get hurt!  He didn't listen or he forgot because he got up from his chair and landed face down on the ground!  He was so upset and I felt so sorry for him!  :(  But, I do admit now it is kinda funny!  A little while later when he got feeling back in one leg he thought he could walk.  He took one step on the un-numb leg and a step with the numb one and fell on his face on the ground!  He then came to the conclusion that his leg was broken and could never use it again!  About an hour later he was running around like nothing happened!

I was worried about the pain and discomfort that would come from this surgery...I was worried that he would not want to go potty because it would hurt...and he would be in a  lot of pain.  But, I was wrong!  I like it when I am wrong!  He didn't need one dose of the pain medicine.  I only gave him 2 doses of Motrin.  He is my trooper!  When he is in real pain, he holds it in and doesn't cry.  I love him so much.  I am praying that this will be the last surgery he will have to have!

Time...lagging!

It is only Tuesday!!!!!  I have to wait till next Monday to get my sonogram!  Can the days go by any more slower!  All I can do is sit here and think about what the results will be!  It is hard to not think of the worse case scenario!  But, I am trying to stay positive...and think that this is nothing.  Another part of me is thinking it is going to be bad.  It's hard to stay calm sometimes...I let my imagination get the best of me...I let fear grip my heart.  Why can't time just hurry up and Monday come fast?  Well...not just Monday, but the 48 hours after that till I get the results!  All I can think about are my kids...they have gone through too much as it is, and then if something happens to me...I cannot even think about that right now.  I don't want to!  This is the most stressful thing I have gone through.  The adoption process was stressful, but this is a different stress...but it surpasses the adoption by a mile.  I don't know!  Oh my goodness...I am stressed out so much!  I can't even concentrate on school or anything!  I am so far behind in some of my classes...I am seriously thinking about dropping my classes and taking a semester off.  I am so burned out...I can't focus!

I know, I know I am being a big baby...I can't help what is going through my head!  Or even what is going through my heart...

The one thing that keeps going through my head is the song, "God be with you till me meet again."  I know dramatic right?!  UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MONDAY JUST COME ALREADY!