My awakening...

I have had an awakening of some sorts today...and I am so angry about it too.  I don't know why it has taken me so long to get to this point, and why did it take so much for me to see it.  Why it took me seeing my baby girl cry and go through so much anger before I got to this too!

My daughter has this connection that I will NEVER understand with her sisters on her dad's side, and with her dad too.  I don't understand since I have been the one who have been there for her since day 1 and I have never left her.  I don't get it, but I have respected it at the same time.  Biting my tongue when she wants to call and send them things in the mail...text them and hope that they would call her back.  I am glad she never held her breath while waiting, cause she would have died waiting!  Can you tell I am a little angry?

I don't understand why they don't call her on their own...I don't understand why they tell her they have things for her birthday that they need to send and they never send it.  I don't understand how they can have the heart to flat out ignore her, while she begs them to call her almost everyday.  She calls them a couple times a day, sometimes everyday....and they never answer and they don't call her back.  I don't know why they won't answer, they don't need to worry about me wanting to get on the phone with them.

I want my kids to have a relationship with their brothers and sisters...is that too much to ask for?!  I don't understand what she did to make them ignore her like that....I found a text message the other day in my phone that she had sent to them, it went, "Hey it is Christiana can you please call me.  I feel like you don't like me or love me, and I do no know why I feel like that ok.  And I really want to talk to you so much but you're not answering me when I call you, all I want you to do is talk to me ok, that's all I want from you and a text ok and that I love you guys a lot ok and remember that I want you guys to call me or text ok, love you lots."

I read that and cried.  I don't know how they can have the heart to not respond to her.  She is begging them to love her almost.  I am not saying they don't love her, because I am sure that they do, but she needs a lot of attention and she wants it from them too.  She is angry that this is not happening.  I don't know what to do.  I am seriously thinking about talking to my daughter and tell her to give up already.  I am ready to stop letting her call them and text them.  I am tired of seeing her hurt, and disappointed time after time again.  She really thinks that no one loves her over there.

My heart aches, I am at a crossroad and I don't know what to do!  I am confused.  I hope that I will make the right choice for my daughter.  I want what is best for her and no one else.  I feel like no one else thinks about what she wants or needs....:(  My heart hurts for my baby girl.

Being a parent is hard work!