...

Days are long and nights are even longer.  I don't know when one ends and one begins.  I am so damn tired all of the time.  I feel like the world's biggest loser.  I feel like I have failed my children and myself and my family.  I don't know where it went so wrong in my life, but it is horribly wrong right now.  I am so tired of the rollercoaster of depression and boarder line personality disorder that I could sleep for years.  I don't want to be like this.  I don't want to feel all of this constant rage inside of me, the constant anxiety, the constant depression, the constant feeling of loneliness and sadness,  All I am to people is a joke.  I feel like sleeping for years and years and never waking up again.  I think that would be the best for all that are immediately life, I don't know what it is.

I don't know what this is...a farewell, an awareness I don't know.  But it's something.  Maybe I will see you all on here later...maybe you won't.  I guess you will just have to wait and see.