Regrets...

I live with a constant regret in the back of my mind. No matter what I do in my life it will not go away. I don't know what to do to make it go away! I don't want to think about it anymore. It is so frustrating, I feel like I am going to explode soon. I know deep down inside I shouldn't be feeling this...but I can't help it. It will haunt me for the rest of my life I fear...unless I figure out a way to get it out of my mind and know that there is nothing to feel guilty about anymore. It has been almost 7 years!!! And still I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders! I feel like I don't want to get out of bed sometimes because of the way I feel. I feel like I don't or can't look at myself in the mirror! How can I live with myself for much longer with all of this guilt laying in my heart mind and soul...I just do not know anymore. I feel like it just gets worse and worse as the years go by! How horrible is that!? 7 years of guilt...I want to ask for forgiveness...and yet I don't know if I will really get it...or if they will just tell me what they know I want to hear to shut me up or try and make me think it's all forgotten...I don't know. Maybe I am just thinking about it too much and over analyzing it! Oh!!!! why can't these things be easier on my mind...and my heart. I have such a heavy heart...I know deep down inside what I did was wrong and how I did it was wrong. And they say that they have forgiven me...but how do I know that for sure?! How do I get my conscious put to ease? I am going to give myself an ulcer! All I can conclude is I hope and pray that they will forgive me...I can only hope!