About a year ago

As I was looking through my journal that I carry with me almost everywhere I go...I notices almost a year ago I was writing in there about the temple.  And since there is a temple being built right now, I thought it was ironic...because the ground has just been broken for the building to start.
This is what I wrote.
November 16, 2010
"There are so many things that are floating around in my head.  I feel a but scatter brained. I went to Stake Conference this last weekend, and the spirit touched my heart and I feel like it sparked my desire to change a lot of my life.  I know it's going to be hard, because it's easier said than done.  But I want to try.  I want to be a better mother, a better friend, a better person.  I hate the way I have been feeling the last month or so.  I don't want to feel angry or sad anymore.  I don't want to feel dispair in my life.  I want to only see the positive side of things.  What I want more than anything is to stop thinking about my past.
They broke the ground for the temple that they are building here in Gilbert.  It is exciting to be able to be apart of another temple being built.  Going to the open house and maybe even being able to work at the open house!  Like I did when I was 14 for the San Diego temple.  What a wonderful experience that was.  To work the open house several times, getting lost in the temple with my best friend at the time.  And being able to sit in the celestial room with the prophet Gordon B. Hinkley was there.  What a wonderful experience and an honor to have been able to be apart of that.  How I wish I had stayed (or gotten back on) the straight and narrow path.  Now that I am 32 it is much harder to get back on that path.  I know that it is possible, but it will be so hard.  But, I feel it is time, past the time I should do it, and do ir for good.  Not to do it half way, but all the way this time.  Maybe get myself to where I am able to go to the temple for myself."
It's crazy that this year I have come full circle...yet again.  A year later I am at the same place wanting to get my life on track so I will be able to get to the temple.  It's not like I am doing terrible things.  I am just not going to church as much as I should be, I am not listening to the best music, and my foul mouth is terrible! 
So I feel until I get these things under control I won't be ready.  I don't know, hopefully I will be able to write on here next November being able to say I made it!  I made it to the temple!  We will see...we will see...