time

I am so frustrated...about a lot of things.  I am frustrated that I feel as though people think that just because it has been a while since you have placed your child for adoption that you cannot know what they are feeling...it's as if you could ever forget that empty feeling in your heart...the stabbing pain that stabs you in your every breath that you take!  The feelings of hate...and jealousy, the feelings of did I really do the right thing...the feeling of hoping the couple keeps up their end of communication.  I don't care if you placed yesterday or 30 years ago...you feel it the same...and when you see another birthmother go through the placement you feel that pain all over again.  There is no cure for the pain one feels after placing their child for adoption...there are ways to help ease the pain.  But no one cure.  It never truly goes away.  Yes there are blessings that come from this incredible experience...but that still doesn't take away the ability to feel as though it were yesterday when you were the one in the spot of placing your child.  It just frustrates me.  whatever...