Help

As I lay my head down to sleep...I pray the Lord my soul and heart to keep.
I pray that He keeps my heart protected from my enemies who want to harm it...
I don't understand why things just can't lay to rest and stay there 6 feet deep.
I don't understand why there is no such thing as forgiveness...

I am tired of being hated...leave the past in the past...I pray to the Lord that He will soften their hearts.
I pray that He will protect me so I will not get hurt, and take what they have to say to heart...
My eyes fill up with tears...my heart is heavy...my spirit is low...
I don't want to feel like this, although I cannot help the way that I feel all of the time.

I do not like that I have let other people control how I am feeling about myself,
and I pray so hard that I will be able to let it go and that I will be able to get over it.
Heavenly Father why do people think that they can just walk all over me and get away with it.
Why do they stomp all over my heart?

I try so hard to be a kind and compassionate person.  And for what?  To be hated on?  To be unliked...to get people to turn their backs on me?  I pray for not only my soul, but for their souls as well.

My heart can't take much more heartache...more disappointment...more lies...Heavenly Father I am begging you, please, help me!